Snowflakes

No two snowflakes are the same is one of those "facts" you hear a lot at this time of year. How can this be proved though? Who's checked every snowflake? I remain sceptical until someone proves it to be true.

Christmas/Birthday Greetings

My older sister has the joy of having a Christmas Day birthday. That means she gets the old "this counts as your birthday and Christmas present" deal from us all (sorry sis). To make up for having to share her birthday with tinsel, turkey and poor Christmas pop music I've done a special cartoon for her.

Before we start I must explain that it's very rare to see her without a camera in her hand. She takes photos of everything and everyone which is why she features in today's drawing.

No matter where you go she'll find and photograph you. You can run, you can hide but bet your life there'll be a dodgy photo of you on Facebook by the end of the day. So happy birthday my photo ninja sister, we wouldn't have you any other way. Hope you have a great day, I'm sure we'll see photos.

And to everyone else:

Right, time to break into the Quality Street and get festive. Hope you all have a great day.

Big Thanks

This post is a big, fat thank you to everyone who's been so nice this past week. That's friends, family and internet peeps. You're all lovely and I appreciate your support very much so here is a picture I've been aching to do for ages. It's my new favourite.

Hopefully it'll make you smile even if you're not a Star wars fan.

A special thanks has to go to Mark...

...for putting up with me and my mood swings every single day for making me laugh more than anyone. He also invented Cat Hat (patent pending) which, as you can see, the cat just LOVES!.

Duvet Days

You may have noticed the tumbleweeds and ghosts of cartoons past milling around the blog for the past week. The reason? I've been hiding under the duvet, eyes shut, fingers in ears whispering 'I suck' over and over again.

For those who don't know, I'm bipolar which is a very fashionable mental illness to have don't ya know. Stephen Fry has it, Russell Brand has it, Kurt Cobain had it: so for once in my life I'm actually trendy.

If you don't know what bipolar disorder is (often called manic depression), it's a mood disorder in which a person alternates between states of mania and depression. Here's the Wikipedia article about Bipolar Disorder.

The mania, for me, makes me super productive, very impulsive and giddy as a school kid. I'm social, witty, don't need sleep, easily excited etc... Imagine a kid on those blue Smarties from the 80s and you're in the right ball park.

I can do anything, be anyone when I'm manic, and often start projects that are destined to crash and burn thanks to the inevitable arrival of... The Depression! I seem to get more of this and I'm sure I don't have to explain depression to people. Mine always starts with general feeling of disassociation with the world...hence all the duvet time. My brain has to Ctrl Alt Del so I find myself sleeping for days.

The depression has been lingering for the past few months and at times I can be in a mixed state where I'm depressed but functioning faster than a cheetah on speed. It's easy to commit to a drawing per day when your mind races at a million miles an hour. Trying to be funny when you wish your were dead is another thing altogether.

Because of this week long low I've come to the decision that I won't be promising a post every day but will be posting as much as possible with a view to completing the 365 days - and beyond! It might take me more than a year but it's worth it if it means I spend less time crying myself to sleep for days on end.

So now that I've written my essay here's the drawing. The stickmen represent how quickly I've forgotton how to draw people.

I love doing the blog and I love all the people I've met so far so I refuse to be battered by the lows. If you'll stick with me then I'll keep posting. What'd you say?

Fact Thursday - Gold

Time for another interesting fact.

The world's oceans contain 10 million tons of gold. It literally just floats about in the water, brazen as you like. The estimated worth of this gold is £350 trillion ($540 trillion), but it's unlikely anyone will ever claim it due to the fact it's impossible to extract. Many have tried, all have failed.

Imagine what it must be like being plankton with all that gold floating around. Something like this maybe...

Hide and Seek Champion?

Today's post actually happened a few nights ago. The cat had been out in the rain and wouldn't come in when we called him before we went to bed. As soon as our heads touched the pillow the damn cat was at the door meowing like a banshee.

We had to let him in, if only to prevent annoying the neighbours even more than we already do. I went downstairs, let the idiot in and ran off back to bed before I got frostbite.

Ten minutes later and there's an almighty crash downstairs. Hmmm, wonder what caused that? Seconds later the cat starts meowing AGAIN: presumably at whatever item had the nerve to crash to the floor when he touched it.

It got to the point that we knew one of us had to go see what he'd destroyed, and I let him in so it was Mark's turn to deal with him. He got downstairs to find the cat "hiding" in this position.

Yes, the cat is so amazingly stupid that he forget to put his arse down when hiding behind a table. It's a good job he looks cute because thinking's not his thing!

So, in conclusion, if you have a tail, watch where you're hiding.

PS. He'd knocked over the pile of wood for the fire in case you were wondering. Didn't want to leave you hanging.

Sod's Law

Isn't this always the way?

Christmas Trees

After yesterday's Christmas-horror mash up I thought I'd do a slightly less psychotic drawing.

It seems not everyone is a fan of decorations...

Xmas Horror

As it's been horror week here lately so I thought I'd do a mash up of Christmas and horror-seeing as how it's December and all.

This one was so fun to draw, although I'm not sure what that says about my psyche? Anyway, enjoy...

Also, here's the zombie cake I made for John Morgan.

Same Again

Another classic horror film rip off from me today. This time it's Jaws. Was he really a killer fish with an Amity Island vendetta or was he just misunderstood?

Nightmare in the Nail Bar

I'm continuing the horror theme yet again (seriously, when will I stop thinking of horror related gags). This time it's the character that most scared me when I was little, Freddy Krueger. If you don't know who he is then you need to Google this classic horror baddie.

Let's see what Freddy gets up to when he's not stalking and butchering teenagers.

It's Zombie Time

We've had killer bleach, were-squares and a salad dodging blob. Now it's time for the A list horror movie monster...the zombie.

Why zombies now and not a few days ago? Well that's because this is another Happy Birthday post, for the slightly extremely zombie obsessed John Morgan, who can be found here when he's not scouring the city for vials of T-virus or Sumatran Rat-Monkeys.

If you're wondering where the fact is (it is Fact Thursday after all) then don't worry, I have a Zombie related one for you.

FACT: The city of Leicester is totally unprepared for a zombie attack. It's true. In June this year a concerned citizen sent a Freedom of Information Request to Leicester council saying provisions for a zombie attack were poor. The council were forced to admit that yes, they have no defences against the undead. The full article is here.

So Happy 30th Birthday from me and Mark. Welcome to our age box, and remember; if you want to bring down the UK with your horde of Zombies, start in Leicester.

Horrortastic

As the title suggests, it's another horror drawing today. This time it concerns that classic 50s blamange - The Blob. It seems even pink gelatinous blobs of killer gunk can be sensitive.

Yet More Horror

Here's another horror instalment for you. I've no idea why horror gags keep coming to me but hey, I'm not one to pass up a gag idea. Especially when it involves drawing simple shapes.

Enjoy.

Bathroom Horror

The phrase "this is how horror films start" has become a favourite in this house at the moment. We've got horror on the brain, so that's why today's post pays homage to all the best formulaic horror films. What would life be without guts and gore?

What A Cow

Another quickie today. I wanted to draw a cow so I thought I'd challenge myself by drawing two. As a bonus I managed to work out a gag to go with the drawing. Otherwise it'd be an 'insert gag here' situation.

Enjoy

Personal Hell

Just a quicky today.

Yes, this is my idea of hell by the way...

The reason for the quick post is because it's my boyfriend's grandma's birthday, so I spent all yesterday covered in cake mix and icing sugar. The end result was this:

Eight hours of cake making later and this was the carnage I left in the kitchen.



To the right is a sink full of every bowl, plate and piece of cutlery known to man. At least there'll be cake later.

Rainbows

You hear stories about pots of gold and magic unicorns that crap money at the end of the rainbow. They dance around and bend to your every whim, wrapping you in hugs like the delicate flower you are. Well I beg to differ. If you get to the end then this is what's really waiting for you.



Yet Another Fact

I'm thinking of making every Thursday "Interesting Fact Thursday". I might as well, I've got facts coming out of my arse.

If facts are not your thing then perhaps you should avert your gaze every Thursday. Still visit though, I need the numbers.

On with the fact. Clownfish are all born male but can actually change gender. When the highest ranking female dies, her mate changes sex to take her place and mates with the next highest ranking male.

To put this into perspective, imagine you're a bloke (or just carry on if you already are) and your girlfriend is super hot. She's involved in an unfortunate cleaning related accident and snuffs it. What next? Well I'll tell you buddy, you'd better get down to the tailors to get your girlfriends dresses let out because you're going to be wearing them from now on. To make it worse, your best mate will be sticking it to you as he's the second highest ranking male. Now get yourself in that kitchen and make your new man some pie!

Sucks to be a Clownfish!